Saturday, August 23, 2008

In the Cocoon

Well, our PreK4 year has begun. I must say, it is a struggle for me to know how to properly homeschool Helana. She was finally given a loose diagnosis of PDD-NOS by a pediatric neurologist at the University of Kentucky Medical Center. He has ordered more tests, such as speech evaluation, hearing, a MRI and an EEG. Joey has recently started a new job, so these tests will have to wait until the insurance begins on Oct. 1st.

There are days when I see such an improvement in Helana, particularly her language skills. But then I am reminded of our struggle when we sit down to learn handwriting, or to color, or anything that requires even the tiniest bit of focus. It is as if a wall goes up and her eyes fog over. She truly enters her own reality.

She really took an interest in the women's gymnastics portion of the olympics this year. She loved the uneven bars and I had to keep a watchful eye out cause she tried to swing from the bar in her closet. Now I believe in encouraging a child's interests, so I signed her up for gymnastics lessons. She has always been a daredevil and fearless, so I figure this would be right down her alley and a healthy way to release this energy. Yesterday was her first day and, even though I explained to the coaches Helana's situation, they were painfully impatient with her. One lady, after knowing Helana for only 2 minutes (no exaggeration), actually screamed at her to "Sit down now!". Naturally that scared Helana to death and she promptly decided to shut them out. The wall went up. She had a wonderful time once they bounced and jumped and played on the bars, but in her own reality, paying very little attention to what was going on around her. They kept looking at me like, "why can't she follow directions like the three-year-olds?".

Sigh. I've paid for the month and will continue to take her and see if things get better. Supposedly she will have a different instructor next week. Ya know, the more I think about it though, the angrier I get at the lady who screamed at her. Such people should not work with small children. I realize I am going to have to get "tougher" for Helana's sake and lay aside my passivity when necessary.

I continue to pray for wisdom and direction. I know this is for a reason and my character is being molded for God's purposes. The toughest part is being in the cocoon.

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