Her Son Was In a Bag

That’s what my high school friend Sandra saw when she entered into her son’s school last week.  You may have read or heard about it.  It’s been on our local news, but it is also gaining national coverage through sources  such as Yahoo News ,MSNBC.com and NYDailyNews.com

Her son is autistic and Sandra was called to pick him up for misbehaving. When she arrived, she found him tied up inside a large drawstring bag intended for gym balls. She demanded that he be let out, which of course he was. Immediately.  She was told this was not the first time her son was placed inside the bag and set out in the hallway of his intermediate school.

This is the picture Sandra provided on FB to show an example of the bag. This is NOT the actual bag, but a representation.  The actual bag, she says, is a little bigger.

 

The superintendent’s official public response is that it is unlawful for him to issue an official public statement either confirming or denying the allegations, but that they are complying with the ensuing investigation and that the school district strives to treat all students with respect and provide the best education possible.

If I were not home schooling, this would be the district in which Beauty attended elementary school.  He is only one year older than she.

With the help of some wonderful people at change.org, she has begun a petition to the board of education to request changes in their policies in the disciplining of special needs children and to request that all staff involved with the special education department be properly trained in autism awareness.

Honestly people, if someone were to enter your home and found you had tied your child up in a bag like the one pictured above, they’d be pulled from your home so quickly your head would spin. As they should.  What is not appropriate discipline at home should not be allowed at school.  Isn’t that not only common decency, but common sense as well?

I’ve been told that some of these kids need restraining so they don’t  hurt themselves or others.  No one is saying they should be allowed to go all Kung-Fu on the classroom, but appropriate forms of discipline need to be enforced.  Being tied up inside a bag is not an appropriate form of discipline.  I understand that sometimes physical restraint is necessary, but again…to be tied up inside a bag?  They are not the spoils from a rabbit hunt.

Special needs children are not animals.  They are human beings created by God, in the image of God and deserve the same respect as anyone else. Furthermore, they deserve our protection for they so often cannot defend themselves nor even verbally ask for help.

If you would like to read and /or sign the petition please click here.

I am very proud of Sandra for taking a stand and trying to change her world and that of her son and children like him.

My Autism Team

If you have a child on the autism spectrum, you may have already joined My Autism Teamdczz, a social forum for parents, caregivers and professionals of autistic  children.  If not, let me suggest you register! 

Beauty has been seen by two separate panels of specialists and they both diagnosed her with MR and assured me she was not autistic.  However, a school psychologist told me children with MR often exhibit autistic characteristics.  I joined up with My Autism Team, revealing Beauty’s official diagnosis as non-autistic, but they welcomed me with open arms anyway.  Beauty’s tendency toward autistic behavior is so strong, that I was given the impression that many of my new friends think she has been misdiagnosed.  I do too, at least partially misdiagnosed.  I can not deny the MR diagnosis.  I am her mother as well as her primary teacher.  I can not argue with the fact that we have spent the last four years on basically the same material (and it isn’t from lack of trying, or neglect).  However, she also has several “smaller” diagnoses in addition to the MR:  expressive/receptive language disorder, poor muscle tone and ADHD.  Personally, I think she falls under the spectrum as well.  The similarities are too great and too consistent.  We were told Beauty’s eye contact and overall friendliness are too strong to “qualify” her as autistic, but I’ve learned there are many children on the spectrum with excellent eye contact and are very friendly. 

It makes no real difference to me what the experts say; what her diagnosis is.  She is who she is.  I am just thankful for this resource of parents with similar struggles.  It helps me remember I am not alone and also provides me with  the support I need as a mom of a very special little girl.

If you have a special needs child and are needing that extra support or a venue in which you can voice your frustrations and cheers among people who KNOW what you are going through, then I suggest you visit My Autism Team and sign up now.  It’s free, but the support/encouragement it offers is PRICELESS.

The freedom in truth-eval update

Yesterday was the final ARC meeting with the local public school, pertaining to Helana’s evaluation.  We began this journey in an attempt to get her qualified for speech services.  I agreed to a full evaluation and to listen to a proposed IEP in the event I decided to enroll her.

Yesterday was the day that the evaluators gave their reports and an outline of the IEP handed out.  The overall report was a little distressing, but not shocking.  We’ve known for some time that Helana has a learning challenge, but since Weisskopf was unable to acquire an actual IQ score, we were unsure to what extent her challenges took her.  The school however was able to acquire a score.  Obviously I am not going to share that here, but a certain amount of relief comes from having this bit of insight.

Although I am not going to enroll her at this time, I find the suggested IEP very helpful in my own endeavors.  Their plan to help her transition also gives me peace of mind.  Their outlined academic goals are not unlike mine, so I am relieved to know that I have not been hindering her by spending so much time on certain concepts/tasks.  In fact, I was surprised to learn that their goals for her are actually a lot smaller than my own.  While I could suggest they tweak it, and they probably would, I still feel it is best to continue her education at home.  I feel much more confident now that I know what she WOULD be learning in public school and honestly feel we could be more productive at home.  The only real advantage I can see from sending her would be on the social level:  working among a group, following directions given by others etc.  By choosing to home school her, she will still receive speech therapy once a week in the classroom in a group.  I think this is the perfect opportunity to see how she would function in a group/classroom setting.  If she does well and seems really excited about her sessions, then I will give heavy consideration towards enrolling her in the fall.

Not Surprising

Beauty had a wonderful, calm session at ST/OT this morning.  When they brought her out, the waiting room was empty and fine.  While I was talking with her ST,  the room suddenly filled up with people and Beauty went wild.  She ran out the door, threw herself on the floor.  Miss Vanessa, her OT, had a tough time chasing her around.

It was like flipping a switch.

Time for some real ACTION!

Sometimes I feel really bummed and frustrated with Helana’s special needs.  I find myself maintaining a mental catalogue of all her challenges.  She has so many autistic tendencies, yet we are told her eye contact is too good to be autistic.  She was diagnosed with Mental Retardation-unspecified, but seems so bright.  In some ways she is very much 6, but in so many other ways she is 6 going on 4.  She appears to have ADHD and noticeable trouble concentrating.  Her “good” eye contact seems to be digressing instead of improving.  Yes,  she is beginning to speak in several word sentences, but rarely says anything beyond animated jabber that is completely irrelevant to the moment and still does not respond when asked basic questions; such as her name and age. She has SPD.  The list goes on and on.

We had her on Ritalin out of desperation, but then took her off because she began complaining of a belly ache and became physically aggressive after about a year of being on it.  We prefer to NOT have her on any pills, but it is obvious we cannot continue on our current path.  We take one step forward and five back.

So yesterday, after a challenging reading lesson where she struggled to even look at the book straight-on, I thought “This is it! Enough! This must change!”  The occasional sensory input scattered throughout the day is not making much of a difference in her behavior and very little in helping her attention span.  Thus, I googled.

I googled  natural treatments for ADHD,  for starters.  Priority number one is to help her be able to look at her school work, instead of the tilt-a-whirl her eyes are usually engaged in.  What I found is not surprising.  I’ve read it all before, but for some reason have never gotten around to applying any of it!  Laziness?  Yep.  Scatter-brained? Most certainly!

Well, that is all about to change.  Denial only produces negative change and so does apathy and procrastination.  I’ve been playing the “tomorrow will be different” game.  NO MORE!  TODAY is the beginning of a new life for Helana.  Joey and I have been made stewards of her life, spirit and soul for a short time and no longer will we waste that!

The Plan:   Test to see if her behavior and attention is directly related to her diet (duh, I know).  The article I read suggested going off all cow’s milk dairy for at least 6 weeks.  Check!  Bought her Soymilk today, which she’s had before and likes.  Limit, if not completely eliminate, processed foods, sugar and red #40.

                   Take her to see the chiropractor.   Apparently, many children with ADHD have a “jammed occiput” at the base of the cranium.  Adjustments should correct this.  Worth a try, right?

                   Give her natural supplements to  help with focus and concentration, as well as to rid her body of any metal toxins.  We live in a home with old pipes.  Ya never know.  If she has toxins, the supplement will cleanse her body of it, if she doesn’t then nothing will happen.  No side effects.

Lastly, I will be more persistent in creating a calm, loving environment.  Joey and I are pretty quiet people, but there are other care givers that are, quite frankly, loud and excitable.  I will request once again that they “reign in” their own volume and nervous energy. 

So that’s the plan. To read the article from which I received my information, click here.  Anyone else have any suggestions?