Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My Beauty

At this very moment I am laying beside my Beauty, my daughter Helana. She is so beautiful to me. Although I am homeschooling her,  she teaches me so much every day.  Sometimes I feel a little blue when I think about all she may be missing out on, such as giggling with girl friends, dance lessons, sleepovers.  Helana might not ever do these things, not because I shelter her, but because it is just part of her special personality and difference.  But then I remember all the wonderful things. 
I doubt you will find a more affectionate child.  While I love she is so open and honest with people, it is also something I must keep a close eye upon.  She will hug the most random people.  Men and women in stores, walking in a parking lot, at the doctor's office, sitting in a restaurant.  Wherever and whomever.  Naturally I am fearful of her approaching the wrong person, but I must trust that God will protect.
Helana is so full of life and light.  She lives in her own little reality, has her own style and, the greatest thing of all, does not seem to care what other children think.  She has no concept of what is "cool" and creates her own fads instead of getting caught up in what is important to other girls her age.  For example, while she knows who Hannah Montana is, she could'nt care less.  She's just as happy watching Snow White and wearing her "Dorothy dress".  She loves to climb and is actually quite nimble and cautious.  She doesn't even begin to think about being a member of a "girls club" or having little boyfriends.  True, she's homeschooled, but I don't think it would be any different in public school.  She likes whoever will run and play with her, and if she meets a group of little girls that won't, she simply makes her own fun.  I sometimes wonder if, deep down, she doesn't feel rejected or is aware that she is different.  If she does, she never shows it.  She used to pull hair, at random and seemingly not with a mean spirit, and we thought that was her way of trying to get the little girl's attention or communicating with her. 
I don't know if she will ever giggle about boys and other such stuff that a girl's childhood is made of and that makes me sad.  However, she has so much to offer and I know that God has a special purpose for such a special little girl.  She reminds me daily to "let go and let God" and for that I am profoundly thankful.  I have often wondered why God chose me and Joey to raise this ball of energy that requires so much attention and special care.  I think He is using her in His molding of my own character and walk with Him.


Sam said...

Nice polka dot skirts...I love having them too in my wardrobe! Your daughter is such a cutie-pie!

Lesa Antone said...

Beautiful story and a gorgeous girl!!
You are lucky--and so is she!!