Saturday, January 1, 2011

Raising a Lil Mister

Lil Mister loves his daddy.  There is no question about it.  He prefers to be held by and in the presence of all men in general, but it is obvious that “da da” is the greatest guy in the world, his hero.  While “ma ma” was his first word and “da da” his second, he will go to da da before mama every time.  In fact, if Hubs is holding him and I try to take him, he’ll push me away and cling to da da.  I am making peace with this! ;)
From the moment I knew I was having a boy I knew that some day I would have to “push” him toward his father more and take a step back so he could learn to “be a man”.  I just never thought it would happen so soon!However, I realize of course how big an influence I still am.  He is with me more often than Hubs, which is probably why he clings to his daddy when he is around. 
I take motherhood very seriously.  It is the single most important job I will ever have and I consider it an honor.  Being the mother of a daughter is an honor in and of itself; and the mother of a special needs child is a scary, challenging and humbling experience altogether.  But that is a different post.
Being the mother of a son is unlike any feeling I could have ever imagined.  I have such hope and expectations for Lil Mister.  There is so much I want for him and that I want him to learn.  Nevertheless, I must regularly remind myself that while some expectations are necessary (such as obedience, team work, etc), I cannot allow my goals for him hinder or interrupt his own natural interests and personality.  Most importantly, I must remember that his future career path and choices of entertainment are not any where close as important as his spiritual walk and the kind of husband/man he grows up to be.
I recently read an article, the source of which I will not disclose, that spoke of this very thing…..raising a man.  The author, a mother of a boy a couple months younger than Lil Mister, talked about how important it is to begin teaching him how to be a man even at his very young age.  I do not disagree with that.  However, she gave me the impression that she discourages him from doing any “girly” chores (such as working in the kitchen) and instead finds “manly” things for him to do.  Such manly chores for a not-quite-one-year-old is picking up acorns out of the yard and placing them in a bucket, or gathering up twigs for the fireplace.  I think that is great. 
However, I want my Lil Mister to be more well-rounded than that.  I want him to know that while some jobs are for men and others for women, that a “real man” isn’t afraid to do the dishes once in a while, or run the vacuum.  I want him to value all work, and when there is no yard to clean up, oil to change or heavy boxes to be lifted, he can and should see what his wife (or mother!) may need help with.  I want very much for him to treat women with honor and respect what they do.  I know too many men who sit in front of the TV all night while the wife tends to dinner, then cleaning up after dinner, gets the kids ready for bed, etc.  I simply do not find that honoring to the wife, especially when she has worked just as hard and for probably LONGER that day than he has. 
If Lil Mister becomes a godly man who cherishes his wife and leads his family and loves the Lord, then Hubs and I will have done our job.
*On a side note, I also think it is important for our daughters to know how to do at least some of the “manly” chores, such as changing a tire, changing the oil and other such activities that increase self-sufficiency.

Nov20103 Lil Mister’s first words were mama, dada, ana (Lana) and then DEER.  After da da, deer is the word he says most often. 

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